Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.

Friday, October 7, 2005
08:13 p.m.
it's all over.
time. time again for another round.
it's only 9 am.
baileys 'n' coffee-
i need sumthing to drown out this voice.
this voice in my head.
telling me to risk it.
telling me that this is a good thing.
it's not.
it never is.
but i'll do it again.
break out of these chains.
tell the world to fuk itself.
well, its done most of that anyway. stupid world.
today.
today is going to be peaceful.
positive.
today i will have a smile plastered on my face.
today i will find my way.
-alysia-

Friday, October 7, 2005
08:10 p.m.
every love story ends in tragedy eventually.
eventually every love fades.
every dream fades-
eventually the child within us gets fed up
and retreats.
stops pestering us.
and then we live.
here.
this world.
as adults.
and wonder why we don't feel fulfilled-
the child within us is pouting.
-alysia-

Friday, October 7, 2005
08:02 p.m.
i see you.
in my mind's eye.
in my heart. in my smile when i'm hardly breathing.
or wrapped up in a calculus question.

it's not romantic.
it's not romantic at all.

and i don't mean to be insensitive-
but he was my ideal guy.
the one with the matching ideals.
and morals.
and personality that was cookie cutter.

he was the one that i thought would be my forever.
it lasted a week.
well, a week to me and a lifetime to him.

that was only the beginning-
i can't believe i walked away.
and not only just walking away,
but slamming-everything-down-and-trashing-the-house-and-stomping-out-the-door away.

and you?
i wasn't watching where i stepped.
you're not wat i like stuck on my shoes

or anything that i ever thought i wanted.