Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.

Monday, October 3, 2005
09:06 p.m.
you're right.
you are absolutely right.
and maybe in all your righteousness-
you have forgotten

you've never owned me.
never captured my heart.
and now i'm gone-
wat good was i to you?

There's nothing but healing
painted upon these scars-
memories of ghosts i pro'ly never knew-
was there ever substance behind them.

underneath all this blood
i find it hard to tell.
-alysia-

Monday, October 3, 2005
09:04 p.m.
hey you.
can you feel me.
can you hear me scream thru this monitor?
or are my words just meaningless. falling on blind ears.
you've never seen me so why do you feel so defeated. so mistreated. so abused?
i never loved you. that's not a crime. i did not pretend to.

i did not force you to cry.
-alysia-

Monday, October 3, 2005
07:51 p.m.
you look up at me with small eyes-
i've never seen anything so big and innocent.

i think twice in doubt.
but the doubt is heavy enough to lift awa.
i want this.
this is wat my life has been leading up to.

you are my prey and i apologize before anything even starts.
i know i will scar you.
i know i will bite.
i know that i will sumhow harm you within the night.
that is not my intent lil one.
it is not my desire.
but when you look up at me with those eyes i cannot begin to keep in my heart
and its greed.

close your eyes-
this may hurt a bit.
-alysia-