Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.

Sunday, December 18, 2005
06:17 p.m.
Advice dispensed to me
falls on hollow ears- i sit still-
won't talk- won't disappoint.
i'm already walking towards you
and fear is all you thought-
you've never known me
and are too far within yourself to begin-
so this glass is what reflects me
and that's all you'll see.

The end is something i've always known,
so don't approach on egg shells-
knowledge is beyond what feelings
run through my mind,
and i will not collapse when you
leave- because i know you will.
And even though your mind will deny it now,
you're already gone
and all i have left is the glass
that i refuse to look in.
-alysia-

Sunday, December 18, 2005
06:14 p.m.
Together-
they surround me-
their souls collapse
and there is no air to breathe.
Nothing but everything
that i've always feared,
and something that i thought
i had forgotten-
there is no love
and the future threatens.
Shadows are all that hold
me now
and it's again
that i'm left suffocated
by all of you.
-alysia-

Sunday, December 18, 2005
06:10 p.m.
you.
and there was you-
no explaination- no name,
nothing more expected
but for me to fall
into the ease of your arms again.
no holding back-
no guilt of holding on:: tonight
was ours
and forever embedded is the spirit
of myne upon yours.

Dimming light,
i don't want to end:: but in the stillness
i can feel the blood cooling
i can hear your heart----far away from myne
but left captured in the same moment.
That flame is ours
and the morning after--- non-existant::
that night was overwhelmed with passion
and now lays exhausted
on this bed of ours
in which we'll never lay.
-alysia-

Sunday, December 18, 2005
06:06 p.m.
anticipation-
that one shard of hope
that cuts me
and finds me alive.
there is nothing more but
routine and logic-
the oxygen pumped into me only ensures
true life---
but within the quiet breaths
the moth slowly finds its strength to speak-
to reveal the true wings
of its heart.
Full and beautiful
logic quietly falls as the season turns-
and over and over
i find my mind smiling
at one tiny shard of anticipation
coming true.
-alysia-

Wednesday, December 7, 2005
06:13 p.m.
letting go-
i realize that i'm not a shell
but the snail
ready to trip on the ecstasies of life.
the high begins
with you
and without knowledge and the chains
that i've lived through-
i fall hypnotic-
releasing me into wind,
where anger and unhappiness
were never me-
only this shell
that held me down.
-alysia-

Wednesday, December 7, 2005
06:09 p.m.
quiet and cold. i sit here
alone
with vivid images,
and a memory of your kiss. hot and slippery
the falls surrounding it,
falling for you
brought up in all properness
and naked villiany.
my eyes too often fond of poisoned love,
unaware,
of everything but your touch
and how you never held anything
back. ended,
the night seems to have been
but you'll never be long erased
by me.
-alysia-

Tuesday, December 6, 2005
09:10 p.m.
Alone-
i can sense their voice-their thoughts cover me
and i know when i look up-
they'll be watching me.
There are too many souls in this room---
they crowd
and i'm already standing in the corner.
there is no room for you-
there is no room for life::
the objects of death and decay
only thrive here
and it's only me
that is able to stand the stench
of what you can never be::
The thoughts and dreams in which
you'll never breathe.
-alysia-