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Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.
Friday, December 30, 2005
11:51 a.m.
Beyond anything-
no thoughts,
no maturity
could've brought me here-
only fear-
the true motivator
that has kept me moving on.
you're leaving-
my heart is broken
but i will not call out-
i will not be alone-
you were always too good
for public advances
and embarrassments
so i will not honour you
and plead in love letters
sent by the heart-
i will not wait by the phone
in quiet, undaunting hope
for your voice-
i will not stay here
until your next storm of boredom-
i'm gone-
i'm alone-
and you have someone-
you always did.
but fear of unappreciation
made it easy to love your arms
when you had time to hold me-
made it easy to know you spirit
and feel us melting together within the shadows.
the love of jupider's moons was us
and no one could break that-
so leave-
take your things and return to the one
that holds your circle-
i've already worn yours-
tainted
it'll burn your flesh
and you're chained to her-
she'll never become you like i did.
you can already see that,
that's how this started
but now
i refuse to make you choose
and i'm not about to stay
second best to the world-
i'm too good for your choice of lover-
and too impatient for death.
-alysia-
Friday, December 30, 2005
11:47 a.m.
Picture perfect,
the lil blond gurl in pink-
the lil gurl who refuses to be her
i will not be your perfect- your dream.
i cannot stand the way it tastes-
i will not be here.
stop clawing-
my perfection is in dust
and all agony that my lust creates-
are you man enough?
or will my spell burn you
causing you to lie in the shadows
with the quiet realization
that the perfection you once sought
is only myne-
and i just walked away.
-alysia-
Friday, December 30, 2005
11:44 a.m.
can't sleep-
your energy entangles me-
consumes me
until all lust is yours.
chain me-
you know the feel
of frozen metal
thrills you.
Burn me-
you cannot harm me
pinch yourself-
you're dreaming,
there's no way i'd bend like that
or lie there just taking
all the abuse
that you're so accustom to.
-alysia-
Friday, December 30, 2005
11:40 a.m.
Beyond everything,
even imagination doesn't compare-
your dreams,
none this vivid
and yet this is your hopeful wish
once cast upon a star-
this is the mirror
you've waited for.
your whole life-
empty-
is now filled with this light
and the reflection back
only creates
the man you always hoped to be.
the man is found within her-
the soft, innocent loving
that just her glance crowns you with-
the way that every essence
of her growth
has led her to love you
and in this,
has given you the power
to create a kingdom.
-alysia-
Friday, December 30, 2005
11:33 a.m.
First glance-
you're afraid to look again
but as your eyes return
they see his amazed smile,
quietly your lips blush a response
as your eyes flick away...
the first moment of fall.
quiet and brisk-
the colors break under foot.
quiet and clean-
your mind soars
as the morning wind colors your dreams.
anticipation-
you know he'll be there,
you know his smile is
waiting there-
waiting for you to complete him,
just as he completes you.
unknowing-
the sun silently rises
in quiet observation of the paths below it.
oblivious-
all minds are gone
and connected in this one.
innocent and shivering-
the morning light wraps you
and he's unaware of the cold.
misguided steps
only create curiosity-
and sonn you'll both open your eyes
and realize the light.
-alysia-
Thursday, December 29, 2005
09:36 p.m.
half-asleep
the words stare back at me,
these words are all i know
and now,
all i can remember-
life has diminished to these
and all those childhood dreams
of happiness, love and picket fences
are buried in figures and logic.
i know i promised to listen
to that dormant object of my mind
but society is so unforgiving
and there's no room for emtion
when deadlines are the only arms
stablizing my life-
my mind.
the coolness of this reality
only pushes me further into these words
that i'm forced to remember
and explain to those that have,
unexpectant smiles beyond their eyes.
they are not myne-
none is-
i'm sad to disappoint you
but this is my life
and you're the one choosing
not to be alive in it.
this is my life
and i am myne
just as much as the logic is.
-alysia-
Thursday, December 29, 2005
09:15 p.m.
numb-
and that's just it.
Empty-
surrounded by clouds that don't fit
everything that you've ever told yourself
everything is the same now
and you've fought blood
and flesh
to rid yourself of it.
All the oaths,
the horrors you induced
only begin to complete
the destruction of yourself
as once again
you lie
in another woman's bed.
-alysia-
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