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Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:54 a.m.
Theusedpoet
when was it that i turned away? retreated within myself
and felt that it was okay to look the other way?
when was it that i got so blinded- so jaded
by the beauty of our love? i remember trashing it. turning on it-
your words and how you hated how much you loved me-
when did it turn that way?
i don't remember when i started shielding my eyes from you-
covering up my heart---
and why did it stay that way? for so many wasted years-
of lies and scandals and half-truths that i thought made me happy-
how did i get so plastic and used?
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:52 a.m.
The tombstone of our love
it's done. she whispers into the day-
dreams keeping her away from bed-
closer to the things she's never said.
there's more. there's always that extra side-
the balance could never be more fulfilling
and terrifying.
but as she opens the boxes of pandora-
the curses laid with her own hands- she reveals
her past-
the baggage laying plain and apparent- she cannot breathe.
no wonder breath is hard to find when there's all this
still occupying her mind- spinning out of time- there's no magic
in his words- no weight in what was done- she knows the love-
is brought back to its innocence-
but its tombstone is not one she has to carry upon her back anymore.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:50 a.m.
This Time
the anger boils within her- beyond all closets
and skeletons- this is the very essence of what
helps her decide-
and you've already spilled the blood upon the page.
but i guess her heart should be used to the grab-
the paint that suffocates it-
what does it really matter to her?
she was only going along for the ride- foolish, to think that this road
may have been different-
they're all padded with the silk of human flesh- all driven to dirt.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:47 a.m.
Like a kitten
like a kitten- she pounces forward- purring-
craving that attention-
only when she wants it- never needed
is what she finds of her tail- and whiskers only get in the way
of diguise
the truest of intentions never lie-
if only they were as good of a story- maybe then
she would have stayed-
knowing full well that not even chains- nor memory
kept her back- kept her there.
blood prospers when spilt and fallen upon-
shattered the bottle that kept it alive- but life is often
too full- and far too well taken care of by those
that kill love's breath.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:45 a.m.
That star within you-are you ignoring it?
defeat- she lets it hit her heart-
feeling more than the intensity of years bottled-
the years spent practicing to fail- funny how much it actually hurts
now that it's happening- planned and predicted
she's begging with the gods for one more moment-
one more of his kisses-
finds herself making her way back to him on her knees-
wants to know how being herself was so wrong-
so misused in the situation.
love is love no matter how many seconds or years it takes to bloom-
and she cannot forfeit the idea- the star
that she so surely saw within you.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:42 a.m.
Settling
she doesn't want to settle- doesn't want
to return
to that man that once made her smile- not when
she's felt your embrace- felt the way it moved along her skin
even thoughts couldn't erase the timelessness.
defeat wasn't ever something she did well-
always went beyond the passion- through the blood-
she wanted to feel that with you- and now is left to wonder
why you walked away-
so suddenly- without warning- without the taste of disdain-
her alone- this is how it all began.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:40 a.m.
The kind of love that slithers away
anger- i can feel it seeping through my veins-
disdain for the lyfe you think i should lead-
that i am living just to prove to you
that i can walk in these heels- but this bitch isn't me-
i want more- strive for more- desire more.
his eyes call out to me in ways that your dick can't contain me-
and yet i don't feel the pressure of his thumb on my windpipe-
the curses of cold metal across my thighs if i don't comply.
i don't think love has to be like that-
locked boxes and whips to keep it in place-
you wouldn't want it to slither away on you.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:39 a.m.
Wet is the only way you learn
keep that sense of adventure- calm down-
breathe-
you remember even the slight smile on his face-
the memories of her love- the way she'd linger-
reality is never as good as it's painted to be-
but still you continue on- grow your garden-
try to stay out of the rain- knowing full weel
that it is yourself that causes the downpours-
and wet and uncomfortable is the only way you learn.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:37 a.m.
Letting go
she feels the sickness crawling
through her stomach. like a race against
time- the pressures of sin
and giving in. there was always more than one lust
following her around.
i guess it was her fault for ever letting go.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 4, 2006
11:37 a.m.
Here
the door slows-
doesn't shut but shows no light
and she's left wondering just what feelings
have brought her here.
-alysia-
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