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Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
05:30 p.m.
Written in sand
staring at the words written.
spaces unravelling
and spreading farther out of reach
she feels within herself
a new kind of break. fragmnets
fused and jointed.
bending with wind and pressure.
smiling
at doors open
and storms staining glass.
there are miles of separation but one mind between them.
constant
and craving.
reaching and pawing-
the smile that begins to form
keeps going beyond the image
and beyond the frail promises of
just a pair of footprints in the sand.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 25, 2006
05:27 p.m.
Like a present given to you
just a bundle of nerves,
created solely for you
and the purpose of keeping you entertained- satisfying
your sexual preferences.
there wasn't more that you wanted
or needed from me. but i guess i wasn't
much for sharing
and completed the deeds with the kind of generosity
that a whore
is compelled to by the money
that keeps her warm and poorly clothed.
the body always moving
covered in bugs and a kind of anxiety that only leads
to badly written vows
and complaints of deadlines
and worms
that lead the heart farther away from
the true meaning of life
and soul mates. the rings of gold
and solitude
given and wished upon like stars
of youth and dreams that would always come true
in love and perfection---
plasticness and the sugar-coated jellybeans
of six year-olds.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 25, 2006
05:24 p.m.
Frozen to the world
keeled over
and froze to the ground-
he describes the image
as if his own death
wouldn't even faze him.
wouldn't faze the birds
that would fly over top,
squawking about the wind and rain
and the dead man
froze to the same world
he was born of.
the same world
that was forgetting him now,
bringing him back
singing to his soul. tying his body
to the strings of winter
and cold hearts
never more born of forgiveness and beauty
of love and the spring
that will allow him to be freed
and finally buried
in a ceremonial ritual that grieves
and drowns his family
in peace and the ability to weep uncontrollably
about all the riches
he left them with empty handed.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 25, 2006
05:22 p.m.
Void of Love
faded scars
she dresses herself in images
that no longer
bind her to what she feels.
she's no longer fooling them all
with sparkles
and grins.
there are no more
frozen tears
dressing up the images of sorrow
and disdain.
bitterness
draining her heart of blood
and continuing to bring her dirt
as presents
to fill her void of fulfilled dreams and love
brought to her
by the sacrifices
of men
that would never begin
to open their veins and offer themselves to her.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 25, 2006
05:21 p.m.
Blood Question
look at me. stare within
these eyes.
it's blood that we both bleed-
don't burst a vein.
bleed the blood you were born to drink
don't think that love can stop you
when your heart
is already too full of all the disdain you've been given-
you're the only one that didn't pose a question.
-alysia-
Saturday, March 25, 2006
05:16 p.m.
Belief
i don't want to believe
in something
that tells me my feelings are wrong-
that my heart
beats for only one longing.
and companionship and the lust for a husband
is what should rule my mind.
i don't want to believe
in a religion
that divides the races
and the aspect of prayer is laid out and there is simply
no other way.
i don't want to believe
in someone that says they don't judge
and yet doesn't love everyone-
doesn't accept the anger
in the world---
you put it there.
divide the happiness and grief-
problems
are only problems
when you give them that power.
and life is lyfe
no matter how you spell it. say it.
dream it.
what do you make of it?
do you cast spells? believe in karma?
dress up or show up in rags?
parade your mounring and show off your scars?
dance if the flame allows it.
be yourself---
believe in the light that the big purple dinosaur gave you.
i don't want to believe in something
that only believes in preaching and judging
and is all over cold
and unloving.
i'm tired of sitting while one person speaks
and my questions are frowned upon.
my body is a temple
and i have fallen down the steps
in offers of sacrifice
for so long-
you've forgetten to come out of your house.
belief
and love and happiness
and whatever other labels you've placed blame on
aren't meant for inside displays of affection---
the blood of my soul
is there thrown about
on the altars you have abandoned--
where's the hope and unchanging faith
in that?
-alysia-
Sunday, March 19, 2006
06:28 p.m.
Obscure
she wakes up thinking of him. begs herself
for just five more minutes,
just a lil more to surround herself in him.
she knows the mind wanders too frequently
that lyfe and love
and concepts are easily tainted
and misinterpreted-
so she finds herself comfortable
falling so slowly like this.
the essence of his smile carries through her words
and she's always on edge
waiting to fall some more.
so just five more minutes before the world turns
this obscure.
-alysia-
Sunday, March 19, 2006
06:02 p.m.
Surround Yourself
surrounded by tinsel and lights
the fall of love followed by the rise
of air and politics-
cunning and overwhelmed.
drink deep the wells of disdain
and the readily available
bitterness
that has created your blood this way- your life.
your love.
pushing and tugging at your heart-
lyfe isn't meant to be burned alone,
drag someone else down with you-
bind yourself to him
with rings and satin
and the hidden promis ov lust
coated by sin in the night.
give in.
give in.
drink deep.
-alysia-
Sunday, March 19, 2006
06:00 p.m.
never used to
covered in flour and pieces of sticky butter-
she brushes her face,
covers herself- falls into the traps of society
and homemakers.
she never used to dream this way- used to think of rats
and lessons learned-
guess lyfe just turned out differently.
the song of bitterness
just never stayed with her- never was committed enough
to keep her standing on her knees.
funny, how she doesn't remember standing up
and then falling for everything
she never used to believe.
-alysia-
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