Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:43 p.m.
her toys no longer
captivate her attentino
she needs comfort
not fun
where she fools herself
into thinking everything's alright.
in the middle
of the mess she finds
an old teddy bear,
hugging it to her chest
she weeps
the fighting, the arguing
she can still hear
but somehow
things seem better.
out of no where
she gets sleeped-
anger taken out on her,
the bear drops
and the black eye develops
because she fell.

yah, she fell. she was pushed down and not give a real chance to live.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:39 p.m.
the white scars
stare out from
her black skin
time's gone by
and really nothing's
changed.
her thoughts and actions
seem somewhat older
but her
mind is still the same.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:38 p.m.
tears threaten
as mischief runs
across my lap.
tears fall
as the knife digs deeper
into my soul.
the barbed wire
that surrounds me
keeps external pain
away
and i cry
knowing there's only one
way.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:35 p.m.
i'm poisoned,
fallen
and unable to get up
forget it
i don't need help.
don't touch me
though you have before.
i'm cracked
and will only
stain
the perfect world
that you now live in.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:31 p.m.
a nail polish ruin,
the beauty queen's gone
to be
the tomboy she thought
she was
but then there was
the goth,
the nerd, the geek
then
everybody's friend
the gurl-next-door
and finally the beauty queen-
who she was
meant to be.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:26 p.m.
surrounded by anger,
caught up in all
her pain
she can't see the stars,
nor the flowers
at her feet.
she can see all
the hate
so she closes her eyes
but none of this stops
the colors of the twisted minds.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:24 p.m.
melodies,
songs that remind me
of you
i shake my head,
refusing the memories
that beckon
a tear silently falls
because you used to love me
back then
when i loved me too.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:13 p.m.
the screams of the young,
their hearts being torn

the blood dripping
past the victims

turn your noses in disdain
drink deep of the water

the slaves have bought
with their free will...

live with no regrets
because you've been paid to do so

live, love, smile
be her best friend

because you can.
you weren't the one who fell
upon the stone

you weren't the heart's barrier
who collapsed

you didn't have to live
with the threats of violence
if you didn't give in.

you weren't me.

i suppose it's unfair of me to think so
but i'm tired of believing
you're the one under the pressure
when it's always me who's bleeding
and broken
with the excuses of true love
to cover.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:04 p.m.
two days,
of knowing you forever
your laughter reaches my soul,
my heart likes to lose its self
in your eyes.
your smile
fills me with joy
and for no reason
i know
it's you i've been waiting for.
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
08:01 p.m.
questions,
questioning me
quizzing me
leaving me feel
battered and bruised.
i feel broken
a toy never to be fixed
something so unlovable,
filled with hate
left alone in the dark
crying
though no tears sprout
life goes on
though the heart stops.
whatever happened
to the person
people thought
i was?
-alysia-

Wednesday, January 11, 2006
07:59 p.m.
my words have grown bitter
my intentions no more sweet
my life has totally changed
by the decisions i've made.
but don't get me wrong
i don't regret
any step of the way
i'm just kinda sad
that i turned away.
-alysia-