|
Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
12:12 p.m.
images presented
are often left unseen-
blind eyes walk
these lands-
there's no room for
turning either.
Ackwardness,
never did become you
but how were you
supposed to dance
without the comfort
of strings.
And without me
to lead.
-alysia-
Thursday, October 20, 2005
11:51 a.m.
i'm not a fighter.
i've been on my knees
begging
for quite sum time.
i can't push you back.
i'm not strong enough.
the animal caged inside me
has been beaten
and tormented
by you
and now is sullen
and sunken to the floor
there's no desire to get out
when you're just behind the door.
-alysia-
Thursday, October 20, 2005
11:49 a.m.
sitting up in her green chair.
the past of it surrounds her.
the spirits pass thru her.
she stares aimlessly at the screen.
stares aimlessly out of her mind.
don't do it again
the words haunt her.
face her.
the truth in her heart there vividly.
drawing blood
across the screen.
forcing her to see it.
please, don't do it again
she seems to be pleading.
to be offering up her soul
once again
hoping.
knowing
that if he just takes it
this one time
it won't hurt.
sitting on the edge of her seat
she falls.
-alysia-
Thursday, October 20, 2005
11:47 a.m.
sitting back.
she's surrouned by red plush.
she fals into the red chair.
my smoking chair
she laughs.
she was never one to beat around the bush.
and yet here she is,
deceived.
here she is,
alone
sitting back
staring at the city thru red eyes
and a tired heart.
and at sum time in the night
she wonders
just where she lives.
just where she left it all.
-alysia-
Thursday, October 20, 2005
11:37 a.m.
i'm tired.
exhausted of how i've painted this picture.
there is far too much blue
and the vividness of the blood
just isn't where my heart is naymore.
i'm just not that gurl
that needs to feel the glint of the blade.
not that gurl
that will follow you.
flip her hair
call you every day.
but i have been.
and as i stare at the telephone
that lays on the floor
i wonder why i have been.
maybe it's because you're passionate
and that grabs at me.
maybe it's because you appear vivid to me
and the world is sewn of grays.
maybe it's because you capture my breath
and i'm not used to that.
not used to being disappointed.
being invited into sumone else's circle.
sumone else's vicious circle.
watever the reason.
the phone lays there
and i hope i have not scared you away.
hope i haven't smothered
because i really haven't meant to be that way.
i've just meant to be me.
in that way
that i should be
without all the barriers
without all the restrictions society has taught me.
so, sorry.
it's gonna take a few tries.
i can't promise perfection
but i can guarantee realness
without all the scarlet blood.
-alysia-
| 
