Jaded. Fragmented. Fallen.
Always Rising.

Thursday, October 20, 2005
10:30 a.m.
opening an old letter. the words are faded and smudged.
still she knows the feelings they say.
the images they represent.

still she knows how she left the letter out in the rain.
trashed his heart. didn't even look back when she walked away.
slowly she folds it up. not wanting to tear it more than the past has.

slowly she places it away. wishing she'd never been that cruel to you.
quiet music hums thru the walls that suround her and still she feels alone.
still she knows she's alone.

she's happy today.
she knows that. knows that, as the past all boxed up around her won't ever go away.
sighing, she just wishes she coulda changed.
could have been that gurl that you had seen.
had appreciated.
supported.
fallen in love with.
she was beautiful. real. raw. full of passion.

she wishes she could have seen that sooner.
could have learned quicker.

but as she falls into the bed she sleeps in alone,
she knows that walking away frum you. the scar frum that regret.
that is a stone that she had to throw.
that was one drop of blood
that she had to shed in order to clear this vision.
to get it thru her head.
-alysia-

Thursday, October 20, 2005
10:21 a.m.
she's done it again.
he had her at hello.
if had said hello.
she doesn't remember the word. nor the actions, but she's here.
and that's it.
she's give in.
fallen.
dancing to the music. listening to her imagination.
wondernig about her toe nails.
green was never a very glamorous color.
she's that gurl.
she realizes it and now accepts it.
that gurl that is in love with dandelions.
picks daisies. sings ridiculously in her car.
loves bubble baths.
and jack 'n' coke.
she's done a few things.
walked on the sidewalk.
crossed that line.
she smiles.
laughs at the fool she's made of herself.
at the way her hair falls in her face.

he likes it when she wears it loose.
it's like that one straw that broke the camel's back.

the one dream that keeps him believing in dandelions and love at first sight.
-alysia-

Thursday, October 20, 2005
09:56 a.m.
one single dandelion

you smile because she likes dandelions.
not candy and roses. but dandelions and grass fights.
and fresh picked daisies.
and coffee.
she always drinks too much caffeine.
you smile because you remember the way she says your name.
and how she dances in the supermarket.
like she's this beautiful angel that can't be seen.

but she can be.
and everyone is amazed. by her eyes.
by her smile.
how she can just look at you and you feel alive.

but today it rains. and the water is drowning.
you can see the spark being slowly smothered out.
you can see her smile clouded by it.
and today as it rains she's still standing.
today as it rains she's still dreaming.
wondering if she'll ever make it past the storm.
-alysia-

Thursday, October 20, 2005
09:52 a.m.
she looks up into the sun.
quints. feels the warmth on her skin.
and for a moment yer here again.
but then again, you never left.
we never left this place.
years like that are permanent and scarring.
she still has one on her knee
and she wonders wat your skin is holding for stories of this magical place.
she longs to know them.
longs to trace them in the stillness of the night.
she can still feel the softness of your touch upon her skin.
how you'd look down at her with these big gorgeous eyes.
full of love. full of happiness.

you've fallen.
been held down by the mistakes you've made.
ran frum this place in attempt to make it go away.
you're in the city.
surrounded by lights. traffic. people who don't know your name.
late at night she stares out at her own city
and wonders if you're searching for the moon as well.
hoping for some faint wish that destiny will bringhim back again.
she remembers the moment when it did.
for a moment.
remembers the way the sun felt.
washing over both of them.

sighing.
she opens her eyes. finds herself alone in the sun's eeys.
and realizes that it's alright.
it's getting to be alright.
-alysia-